Alright so Holy Spirit showed me the first battle to address, being real and honest with the madre about my life and our relationship. The convo lasted 2 1/2 hours..wooo hooo yikes...it took everything in me to do this, but I prayed for that power from within, the strength of my Lord and I took the step, praise God for helping me! Yikes, will def be tired tomorrow considering its not 2:30 and I have to get up at 7:30..but tonight was so worth it! Woot woot, again, this is hard, but oh man OH soo soo good for the heart. Praise God...what's next? ahh nooo, but yes!
YOu know the thing that got to me this point was realizing that life is not about me, it's about God's plan and His Kingdom, and unless I let him work all this junk outta me, then I am deliberately saying...No God I don't want you to use me fully for your plan and glory bc I'm too stuck on myself, too worried about what everyone will think of me, etc. But as soon as I take that focus off of me, and realize that it's all about Him, then I allow Him to work things out in me because I know it pleases Him and it helps me be in a better position to be used for His Kingdom business. If I'm carrying around all this junk all the time then how effective am I for God's plan and purpose? Um well, until you surrender, you are just caught up in self and in bondage...and it's hard to allow God to be effective in you and through you when you're like that, ain't that the truth!
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